Extreme Kindness

This past weekend Brad and I spoke to a group of volunteers at the 2008 Vitalize conference in Edmonton. One of the topics we addressed with the enthusiastic group was health. For anyone in the world of service, learning how to find balance and restore energy is imperative. Essentially, a person must learn to be well to ensure they are able to function properly and to serve others in the workplace, at home and in the community.

Every time I step onto a plane, I am reminded of the necessity of taking care of self before others. At the beginning of the flight the steward announced the safety instructions of the airplane including, “in the event of an emergency, and a loss of oxygen in the cabin, an clear mask will drop from the ceiling. If you are with a small child, please remember to place the mask on yourself first.” A Simple message, that transfers into the rest of our lives. When we experience stress, or challenges in our life – and we always do – we must remember to take care of ourselves, or our stress, like having no oxygen will incapacitate us.

A simple tool to help release stress and calm the body is called, diaphragmatic breathing. Complicate name, simple technique! This exercise involves breathing deeply from our belly, instead of our chest, where we tend breath from to as a result of stress. The miracle of this method is that where the breath goes, the body follows. During stress, our sympathetic nervous system is over-stimulated producing an increased heart rate, perspiration, muscle tension and breathing. As we slow down the breath and take in more oxygen, all of these stress responses decrease and we begin to feel calmer and more relaxed.

The next time you feel overwhelmed or stresses, just breath…deeply.

Conversation about Michael Moore’s SICKO
between Patch Adams, M.D. and Susan Parenti, Ph.D.
July 12, 2007

Susan Parenti: What do you think of the film, SICKO?

Patch Adams: WOW–I’m juiced! The film is terrific. Bravo, Michael Moore!!

Susan: I feel that way too. I highly recommend the film, especially to people who say, “Oh, I don’t like Michael Moore’s films”. This is not about liking Michael Moore; this is about seeing our own muddled thinking on the US health care system, and why we Americans tolerate the intolerable.

Patch: Moore does an incredible new thing: he focuses on people in the US who already have insurance, people who say, “No problem, I’m covered”—rather than focus on the uninsured.

Susan: But lack of health insurance is a huge problem in the US. Why do you think he does this?

Patch: By now we’ve heard about the 50 million uninsured Americans and what happens to them. But in the present socio-political environment, people don’t care about the poor, the uninsured—they’re just the disenfranchised, the “losers”. By Moore deciding to focus on the 250 million Americans who DO have insurance, he’s talking to a much bigger group of people. That’s smart.

Susan: I guess by Moore’s focusing on the insured—who are supposed to have access to the medical system—he’s able to show that having insurance doesn’t mean having access to health care. In the US, insurance is NOT equivalent to health care. That’s the SICKO part. It’s a condemnation of the whole system, not only a condemnation of lack of access to it by some people.

Patch: True. The film is about the greed and the inexcusability that we are not taking care of everyone in this country. How in the US do we tolerate that restoring a person’s ring finger costs $12,000, and the middle finger, $60,000? How can anyone contemplate that and not feel damaged by the vulgarity of the greed? And Moore shows that the insurance companies HUNT for ways not to give you care. They HUNT.

What did you think of the comparison with other countries’ health care systems?

Susan: It’s a great jolt: by the film going back and forth between what we Americans tolerate and what citizens of other countries enjoy–it’s jolting. So while I cried for the people whose husband or child died because of lack of care in the US, I then was gladdened by the health care provided in other places, and THEN became furious at what we put up with here. Tears, gladness, and fury: all three are needed. We could live differently–the film shows this, again and again, by pointing at other countries.

Patch: I liked the hint for us to re-consider Cuba and France as countries to admire and take a look at.

Susan: What do you think the title SICKO refers to?

Patch: I think it refers to the US health care delivery system AND to the fact that we Americans tolerate it. The system is SICKO and–we’re SICKO. I thought it really smart the film didn’t show anything that would be refuted–though I’m sure the insurance companies are seeking examples of mistakes in order to discredit this film.

Susan: One of the ways of discrediting the film that I’ve recently read is to say that it doesn’t “offer any solutions”, i.e., it doesn’t talk about the current health care reforms happening in the US. Would you share that criticism?

Patch: Absolutely not. The film IS offering something: it’s painting a portrait of greed, as it works systematically. And by showing how other countries have solutions, it’s indicating that we don’t have to put up with this. The film is raising the level of discontent–that’s a positive direction.

Susan: Yes. It’s showing what we tolerate as intolerable. I think of SICKO more as a “think-u-ment-ary” than a “documentary”: it creates a pathway of thinking, where we can see that we’re putting up with something that is fundamentally undesirable, and that we don’t have to put up with it.

Patch: Maybe it’s a “think-you-meant-ary”, or a “think-I-meant-ary”?

Susan: Right, and leaving for us to create the “act-on-what-I-think-I-meant-ary”.

Patch: One more thing: I loved how Michael Moore treated the person who writes the “I-hate-Michael-Moore” blogs. The Moore-hater initially had to close his website because his wife had become ill and the man didn’t have money/time to keep up the Moore-hating blog—so Moore sends the guy an anonymous check for his wife’s care, so that the Moore-hater can continue his Moore-hating work! Now, that’s a love strategy–to keep your adversary healthy. It’s funny, ironic, and caring.

I must admit, I have been bitten by the blog bug. I love reading daily from the different bloggers who write on a variety of topics, from compassion to corporate social responsibility. One of the more intriguing blogs i presently read is the 5 dollar philanthropist. This is Tom William’s (co-founder of www.givemeaning.com) blog on social networks, marketing and philanthropy.

The project GiveMeaning is a phenomenal site which helps connect communities and individuals to make positive change.

Watch one of their podcasts to understand more: http://www.givemeaning.com/podcasts/gmpodcast7_showntell.mov.

Peace out!

Chris

Here is a look at Kindness Searches on google:

Here are the top countries searching for kindness:

1. Singapore

2. Canada

3. United States

4. New Zealand

5. Philippines

6. Australia

7. South Africa

8. United Arab Emirates

9. Ireland

10. Hong Kong

Lastly, here is a list of communities that search for kindness. Note the hometown of the kindness crew, Victoria, B.C. in 3rd place!

Cities

1. Richardson, TX, USA

2. Dallas, TX, USA

3. Victoria, Canada

4. Edmonton, Canada

5. Winnipeg, Canada

6. Salt Lake City, UT, USA

7. Vancouver, Canada

8. Calgary, Canada

9. Raleigh, NC, USA

10. Portland, OR, USA

Matt Navitsky emailed me to let me know about an important contest. He writes:

My name is Matt Navitsky and I’m getting in touch with Extreme Kindness on behalf of Circuit City’s firedog services. The “firedog Across America” contest was launched by Circuit City this past winter to donate hundreds of thousands of dollars to America’s firefighters. Now we need help selecting the $100,000 grand prize winner. On top of that, every vote cast will result in a $1 donation to the voter’s chosen firehouse. We’d be thrilled if you could let Extreme Kindness readers know about the contest so they can help raise money for America’s fire safety professionals.

Over 5,000 essays were submitted to www.firedog.com between December 6, 2006 and March 31, 2007, describing the ways in which these everyday heroes go above and beyond the call of duty. From helping communities recover after tragedies, to touching the hearts of those in need, these stories are truly inspiring. Circuit City recently visited the finalists and created a video story for each to help bring the essays to life. Videos for all finalists can be viewed here: http://web.firedog.com/acrossamerica/vote.aspx.

Now that the ten finalists have been selected, we need everyone’s help deciding who the grand prize winner will be. Each of the ten finalist firehouses will receive $20,000 for much-needed equipment and the corresponding essay writer will receive a home “techover” worth $10,000, courtesy of Circuit City’s firedog(SM) services team.

And as a firedog Across America finalist, these ten firehouses are now eligible to win additional funding during this final stage of the campaign when America votes for a $100,000 grand prize winner. Until May 13, Americans can visit www.firedog.com to view all ten firehouse finalists’ stories (also pasted below this email) and vote for their favorite. Each vote will result in a donation of $1 to the voter’s chosen firehouse. At the culmination of the voting stage, the firehouse with the most votes will win the grand prize. The winner will be announced the week of May 14, 2007.

Circuit City developed firedog across America to kick off its new service, firedog, a one-stop shop for consumers’ technology needs: www.firedog.com . Circuit City’s firedog technicians install, optimize, repair, and make technology purchases simple so consumers don’t have to waste time with piles of manuals and tricky cables.

As part of the December launch, Circuit City and firedog also presented $100,000 donations to both the FDNY Foundation, which supports New York City Fire Department initiatives, and the National Law Enforcement and Firefighters Children’s Foundation for its efforts in helping children of law enforcement and firefighting personnel. Former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani and New York City Fire Commissioner Nicholas Scoppetta were on hand to receive the donations.

Again, we wanted to share information about the firedog Across America contest with Extreme Kindness in hopes that you’d let your readers know about it and help us honor and generate donations for America’s fire safety community. I’ve included the list of ten finalist firehouses below. Please let me know if you decide to encourage your readers to vote for their favorite at www.firedog.com or if I can provide you with further information.

Ever found yourself seething because you can’t find your keys, or you left a grocery bag at the store? I have…many times!

It can be tough to stay centered, or positive when little stresses pile up in our lives, and it is important to have a system or a method for taking care of these stresses. Prevention of course is key: stay engaged in what you are doing, be patient in your work, take the time to put things in the same space all the time. Most of all: stay organized! These routines will help eliminate much of your distress before stress has the chance to surface. But, guess what, you will lose things! So here is a simple formula I have come up with to help me when my favorite dress shirt has walked away from my closet.

1. Choose to stay Positive through the process.

2. Begin to clean up the space you are looking in. This will allow you to feel productive during this process.

3. Set a time-specific goal.

4. Reward yourself when you find the item, and for cleaning up your space.

The Get Things Done formula will also help you to stay organized and on top of your work and life. This will minimize most of these issues before they arise.

The website is: http://www.davidco.com/

Is it possible to forgive someone on-site, without receiving an apology or admission? Do the personal feelings associated with forgiveness always necessitate the apology of another? It may be possible to move towards resolution with those who have wronged us by first releasing our hurt or anger. This can allow us to be in a space of grace when we meet that person to search for our answers and apologies. We can release the burden of pain that often cripples us and plunges us deeper into the anxiety and pain which is connected to being hurt.

I have begun to forgive on-site. Can you?

“When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger
than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.”

“To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness.”

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”

The forigiveness project is a powerful and important project which brings together people to engage in the process of forgiveness. The website has a plethora of stories about forgiveness in the most extreme of situations.

http://www.theforgivenessproject.com/

Richard St. John is a fellow Canadian, dedicated to spreading success and passion. In this three minute video, Richard, let’s us know how to achieve success in area of life. Two of his “8 Factors for Success” really stood out for me: Passion and Serve. These two pillars are what have driven the Extreme Kindness project. Pairing something you love to do with making a difference in the community is the main philosophy behind our work.

Right now I am racing through the book this presentation is based on: Stupid, Ugly, Unlucky and Rich, What Really Leads to Success - and it’s not smarts, looks or luck. The book has a beautiful minimalist design and is filled with insightful quotations from the world’s most succesful, in all areas of life. Anyone wanting to find success in serving the community should consider this book!

I believe that authenticity is a foundational aspect of being kind. In order to live in true compassion, we must be truthful in our words, action and emotions. Here, Robin Sharma, famed life coach and friend of the Kindness Crew speaks on this topic.

How can we create a discipline for kindness in our life? No, I don’t mean a random act of spanking, I am interested in exploring how kindness can be a habit, an addiction that we just can’t quit. I believe like any other action we take, it must start with the intention or desire to do so. We must feel the need to get our fix of the helper’s high. We must believe there is a need to create more kindness in our lives and in the lives of others. Once we have realized this we can then start the planning. Just like building a house, we need to create a blueprint for ourselves of how we want to change our life. We can first look at where kindness is lacking in our lives. Is it with a person we are frustrated with, strangers in our community, or maybe it is our perceptions of other cultures? As we break ground we can begin to loosen the thoughts that are preventing us from setting an unstable foundation. Thought by thought we can build a healthier way of seeing the world: a world filled with positive people and opportunities to make someone’s day, and in turn improve our own.

Once our new mental frame is complete, we can head outside and plant new expressions of compassion. Each day we can commit ourselves to one new act of kindness. We can write this commitment down, tell a friend – our veritable ”pusher” of goodwill to remind ourselves of our new habit!