Extreme Kindness

It’s Cool to be Kind

Indifference

I was asked recently,

“how much does Extreme Kindness truly change the worlds problems?”

The problems being: War, Poverty, Racism, Disease, Hunger, Murder, Corporate Greed and Political Corruption.

My answer,

“I do not know”

My goal for Extreme Kindness is not to directly bring about World Peace or solve any other of those massive and frightening global issues.

I’m no genius and I am not a great man.

But, rarely have I been indifferent.

Extreme Kindness wakes me up. It gets peoples attention. It can take away a persons indifference.

Indifference to suffering. A lack of connection to the world around us. This is all I wish to solve. Then maybe someone might teach me how to help make a real difference.

Edmund Burke

All that is necessary for evil to succeed is that good men do nothing.

Elie Wiesel

The opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference.
The opposite of art is not ugliness, it’s indifference.
The opposite of faith is not heresy, it’s indifference.
And the opposite of life is not death, it’s indifference.

George Bernard Shaw

Indifference is the essence of inhumanity.

Helen Keller

Science may have found a cure for most evils; but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all — the apathy of human beings.

Joan Vinge

Indifference is the strongest force in the universe. It makes everything it touches meaningless. Love and hate don’t stand a chance against it.

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Taking Risks Video

Whether in our personal or professional lives, the elements of risk, chance and fate will sometimes come into play. I don’t always recommend putting yourself on top of a wild horse (as you will see in this video) but I surely am an advocate for taking positive risks in life. Success depends not just on preparation and hard work, but also an ability to take action and ride out a sometimes-bumpy ride.

Now saddle up and jump on those horses!

Also please feel free to send me links of any/all cool videos you might want to recommend. This particluar video was cut & produced by a young mister Dan Cox of Victoria B.C. He is also responsibile for Erik’s Hulk video of last week. Good job Dan!

YEEEHAH!

B-rad

Breaking Horses.mov

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This video showcases the important need for positive and balanced management/employee relationships.

This video showcases the important need for positive and balanced management/employee relationships.

Erik Gone Mad.mov

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Poetry and Kinder Business

What use has poetry in todays world?

Why do two members of the Kindness Crew have English Lit degree’s? Can this mean anything?

Personally I study poetry because it is often the end result of what the most brilliant minds of every age tend to produce. They did or do not write solely to entertain or gain wealthy patrons. No the true POETS try to question and answer the most importnat topics of the Present Day. Religion, women’s rights, death, birth, war, peace, politics, pollution and love are but a few examples of these subjects. But in the present era one can argue that BUSINESS and economics have taken center stage in the most important Current Events.

Governments and Religious Leaders must nowadays often step aside for the needs of the great and terrible business man. Business and Coprorations will most likely decide much of the planets future. But a force this powerful must begin to define ethical and moral boundaries. To quote Anita Rodrick: if big business does not operate with any honour or kindness to speak of then “God help us all”.

So WHAT do the POETS tell us?

Well……The poet David Whyte writes:

“It is difficult to be creative and enthusiastic about anything for which we do not feel affection. If the aims of the company are entirely fiscal, then they will engage those whose affections are toward the almighty dollar. If they have a range of qulaities or a sense of creative engagment…they may get in return something more worthwhile from their people…[Companies] must find a real way of asking people to bring these hidden, heartfelt qualities into the workplace. A way that doesn’t make them feel manipulated or the subject of some five-year plan. They must ask for a real conversation.”

So what is Mr. Whyte trying to tell us?

I would suggest after reading this, that companies recognize that in todays world: society is progressing far faster on the individual front as oppossed to the whole. People can and will be heard as we are knee deep in the information age. Compnaies must try to keep up with the ever changing needs and desires of their employee’s. they must work with people as oppossed to above them.

Pls send your comments on what Mr Whtye is speaking on and also feel free to share any more poetical comments on the business of today’s world.

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RANDOM THOUGHTS

1. A POEM
Pushed and pulled
I feel shot
Caught in the middle
Whose advice should I steal?

2. THAT MOMENT I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR
What is happening in the world that we can all share joy and pride in? Are you proud to be a part of what our shared humanity is doing or has done? Personally I wish not just for one country or select group to shout and applaud. No I would like an encompassing moment for each person to share in. A moment of true peace?

3. HAVE WE MET?
Have we ever seen Peace; that shy and gentle maiden so often spoken of in poetry and Greek myth? Or are we just moving from and towards a new and different war?

4. BLACKBERRY’S AND APPLES, BOTH THE FORBIDDEN FRUIT
War seems to me too profitable for business men to easily ask for peace so long as they are a phone call away from the field of battle,

5. HAVE TO SEE THAT MOVIE ABOUT…..
But maybe one day we might see the rebirth of the electric car. I still hope.

6. MAKING IT BIG
Business, Power, Economics & Money; we must join these with a sense of morality and goodness. We must make kindness and success the same. Otherwise we will all lose what we most need.

7. GET A GRIP
Okay, okay I know I know I need to lighten up. I’m going to go hug a stranger. Baby steps.

p020920(saskatoon1).JPG

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If you could help just 13 people…….

If you could help just 13 more people throughout the course of your life, whom would you choose to help? Would you stop for a day to feed and clothe a homeless friend and help get them back on their feet? Or would you instead choose to help someone achieve an improbable & immense philanthropic goal and thus indirectly help many more people in the end? This is a question I have recently asked myself many times over the last month. Who is to say that the homeless friend might not go on to do great things in their future? But is it not a safer bet and worth more of your time to help someone like Bono or the late Mother Teresa? In the end I know I will always attempt to make kindness a habit so that I use every chance I get. But it is an important exercise to sometimes determine the priorities in your life and within the goals you wish to accomplish.

I want to ask a favor of everyone who reads this short blog. If you could have the Kindness Crew help just 13 people—who would some of those people be? Why and how could we help them? Would helping them make the world a better place? Does it matter so long as we help? The reason I ask is just hypothetically, if the Extreme Kindness Crew had a chance at a 13 episode TV show focused on helping others, how could we use that opportunity to further change our world into a better place? Just hypothetically of course.

B-rad
Kindness Revolution

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Are We Cool?

Who is deemed to be COOL in todays world? Who does society think of as uncool both today and throughout history? This new study out of the University of UBC (see below) might have some answers. Pls send us your comments on who you think are both the coolest and the uncoolest people in the world today.

Brads Cool Meter:
Steve Nash: Very Cool and very Kind.
George Bush: Needs a lot of help. Low on the meter, okay maybe empty.

You won’t believe the new ‘cool’
SCOTT DEVEAU
Globe and Mail Update
It’s hip to be square, according to the new study out of the University of British Columbia.

Researchers have found that the iconic image of the rebel, embodied by the likes of James Dean and Marlon Brando, is no longer what people identify with the term “cool.”

The new cool is a friendly, good-looking, industrious person, who dresses well, fits in and is trendy; someone “your mother would want you to be,” according to Ilan Dar-Nimrod, a researcher on the study.

He said fewer people identify with the classic image of cool than one would expect. For most, the new cool is someone who possesses more “socially desirable” characteristics.

“I don’t know if I can blame marketers, or if there is even anyone to blame, but the mainstream got a hold of coolness and turned it into a mainstream version of coolness,” he said. “People now identify passionate and warm as cool, which is almost oxymoronic.”

According to the research, roughly 60 per cent of survey respondents now say cool is someone who possesses socially desirable characteristics, while roughly 15 per cent identify it with the classic image of someone who is mysterious, aloof, and dangerous.

Mr. Dar-Nimrod, along with his colleagues, have run a series of studies to try to identify the characteristics people now define as cool.

The first experiment was to ask people to define for themselves what they thought was cool.

“We found common themes in it, and we found that people associated coolness with things that they liked,” Mr. Nimrod said. “It was very idiosyncratic, but the theme that came out was ‘I like it, therefore it’s cool.’”

The researchers then took a list of 90 common characteristics — like friendly, wealthy, aloof, mysterious — and asked 800 mostly twenty-somethings to rank the words on a scale of one to seven on how cool it is. They then asked the same group to go through the list again and rate those characteristics on a scale of social desirability.

“We found that they are not completely synonymous, but at the same time, it seems that social desirability is a dominant part of what is Western-Canadian cool,” he said. “It appears that first and foremost it (something cool) is social desirability, but lurking in the back of people’s mind is still this Marlon Brando, rebellious character.”

Mr. Dar-Nimrod describes it as a “schizophrenic construct,” he divides cool into what he calls a “Type-1″ cool, which is the friendly, industrious, well-adjusted type, who helps in the community. The other, a “Type-2″ cool, is the classic rebel.

More people, he said, presently identify cool with Type 1 characteristics.

“Historically, coolness was a marginalized construct, so if you’re oppressed or marginalized, coolness is a way for you to deal with the situation by being detached, or by being aloof, keeping a facade of rebellion and toughness. That was cool,” he said. “Not any more.”

The study also ranked celebrities, and while Johnny Depp, an iconic rebel, still dominates the list, he said the majority are now more trendy.

Perhaps not surprisingly for the twenty-something crowd, George W. Bush and Adolph Hitler ranked on the bottom of the coolness scale.

“I didn’t do that on purpose, I would never put George Bush and Hitler in the same category,” he said. “But they are both very high on the uncool scale.”

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WorkPlace Ethics 101

I was reading the Globe and Mail, Canada’s largest newspaper, and I came across a section described as WORKPLACE ETHICS 101. In this article the journalist had supplied certain workplace scenarios and asked for peoples responses. One in particular caught my eye:You are a salesperson working on commission and have not yet signed your contract for the coming year because you are still in the midst of negotiating it when the company sends you to a trade show. You have a good lead the company hopes will result in a sale that will pay for the trade show, but the sale falls $3,000 short of the cost of the show. The company withholds $3,000 from your commission and because you have nothing in writing you have no way to contest this. On top of this you are $500,000.00 short of your 2 million target for the quarter so you will not make any commission. A possible sale of $200,000 comes in, but it won’t get you to your target and you’re mad about the company’s withholding $3000, so you consider tanking the sale, as it won’t do you any good. Should you do so?

My response would be to first think in terms of KINDNESS TO THE CUSTOMER. If it is in your customer’s best interest to do business with you then I believe that you should make the sale. Successful sale people are experts in building and maintaining real and genuine relationships with their clients. Your second consideration should perhaps focus around both KINDNESS TO SELF AND CO_WORKERS. By doing the right thing you increase your chances of renegotiating a more positive contract and improving your company’s overall business health, financially and culturally, at the same time.

What do you think? Please send me your comments.

B-rad

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So I just got punched in the stomach…..

It is so easy to get caught up in the small day to day stresses and details of life. Yesterday I was pouring myself into a small cup of self pity. My regular excuses for this monthly activity were as usual, lack of sleep, no time to eat or exercise, a messy office, money problems and just all round frustration. Before the day finished though, I received a good hard shot to my stomach.

Metaphorically speaking, this punch to my midsection and heart came from the email below, sent to us via our website:

Dear. Extreme Kindness,
I recently had a coworker pass away. Her name was S_______, She was
31 years old and gave birth to two healthy twin boys on April 14th. A
week later she fell ill and was rushed to the hospital and had a blood
clot to her brain, the doctors did several operations to relieve the
pressure on her brain. On April 29th she passed away leaving behind a
husband, a beautiful six year old daughter and two newborns. We are
getting a fundraiser together to raise money for her children and
could really use some acts of kindness(angels) to help us. Thank you
for your time and God Bless, Brandy

Stories like this can help us all put normal and small problems into perspective. For example I can choose to sleep, exercise and eat more. Honestly, if money becomes too much of an issue I can, if I have to, find another career. But that man will never have his wife back nor will the baby twins ever truly meet their mother. This short email caused me to remember once again, as so many other stories have, that I am so incredibly lucky to have such normal problems. It hasn’t always been the case and I doubt I will always be so fortunate. But I should at least be able to enjoy it when I can and help others while I have the strength.

Brandy (the wonderful lady who wrote the email), could you please comment on this blog and send people your fundraising information and details?

If anyone else has any cool fundraising ideas for Brandy and her friend’s family, please send us your comments attached to this blog. Every idea can help and I am sure the family would appreciate even a quick letter of support.

B-rad

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New York: The Big Apple & The Caring City

New York used to be a place of crime and rudeness. Or at least many of us thought. In a recent news article reporter Andrew Cohen stated that 30 years ago New York “was a sorry dominion of decay, white flight, black anger, crime and disorder” However the same reporter goes on to state that “New York is the capital of the world again. It is an engine of prosperity and imagination–It is also, strangely enough, terribly, terribly polite today”.

Possible reasons for this are many and varied. But I like the idea, as does Andrew Cohen, that the “Big Easy” has begun incorporating into the day to day laws for the conduct and behavior of its citizens. Small acts of kindness such as bannning cell phones from theaters and feet from on top subway seats. By encouraging people to honour those small but important feats of civility, New York is changing its reputation and indeed, its entire culture for the better.

Last summer we travelled to New York and experienced one of the kindest places we have ever visited. The people of the city were warm and eager to interact with us as we crossed through the burrows hugging and high fiving our way to a kinder world. If New York is the Rome of today then perhaps our world is on the mend. Thank you New york for giving me hope.

If anyone else has a postive story about New York and wants to share it please send it to us at www.extremekindness.com

B-rad

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